But I dont know the first thing about love

So, I go in spells of thinking pretty hard about stuff in my life and then I stop after a while and just live without much thinking on my ethics. When I say that, I dont mean that I go crazy or anything, being an anarchist, I just kind of live without putting much thought into the motives of my actions. This can be good because at some point I get into a groove where I dont think about what I am trying to improve about myself and just do it, and other times I fall back into some bad habits. A few examples, by the end of my basketball playing for this year, I had stopped worrying a lot about fouls, making excuses, and I had been playing the game with a mentally tougher attitude. That just became habit. However I also worked on not getting angry at mistakes, and kind of forgot about improving on that til it popped up again recently.
So I realized that my attitude towards people isnt always great, and I dont always want to talk to certain people, getting annoyed easily and stuff. (If you are reading this and are like 'is that me he is annoyed at?', its probably not so dont worry. I know how crushing having someone as awesome as me being annoyed at you must be). So what passage did I happen to stumble upon in my Bible reading? 1 Corinthians 13. Oh jjeeeezzz, the chapter about "twue wuv"(picture the priest in princess bride). So, if you need a reminder, and I would encourage you to read this passage to check on what I say, but it starts saying that we can know it all, give ourselves up for God, but dont have love, we have nothing. Then it goes on to that cliche wedding passage about love being kind, not rude, boastful, arrogant, selfish, IRRITABLE,or resentful. Rejoices in the truth, believes, hopes, and endures. Now, I dont know greek or anything, but I'm 99 percent sure the love talked about in this passage is not the husband and wife stuff, this is the 2nd most important commandment, love your neighbor as yourself kind of love. And I fail. Thank God for grace. I have done all of those things wrong on that list, and nothing I could do on my own would ever save me, but the thing that hit me was, the highlighted bit, irritable. I realized that I havent been loving people very well recently, and I'd like to say I'm sorry. I'm going to work on it, *sigh* no matter who the person is. Yeah, this is not going to be easy, and probably none of you will notice. But the Big Guy will.
Im trying to keep on writing music, and I decided to use Gary Lightbody and Aud Fauce as major influences, at least in some of my songs. Both have some simple aspects, some complicated aspects, and pretty sweet lyrics. I am a sucker for simplicity, it has always been easiest for me to worship with straighforward songs with meaningful lyrics. I'm not one for repeating simple lines, I like some thought in what I'm singing. But at the same time I like some complexity amid the simple. Sounds weird I know, but i mosly mean like complex bridges, underlying guitar parts, that kind of thing. So I am working on adding those elements to my songs. It's cool, but its weird because I find myself stopping in my flows and changing progressions a lot more than usual. Hopefully the result is satisfactory.
I hope you enjoyed a more thoughtful blog, I didnt feel like giving you the boring aspects of my whole day. Listen to "Moving Mountains" by thrice to hear some nice 1 Corinthians 13 action

This time of the year, when Christmas is... over

So, did I get good stuff for Christmas? yes, I wont get into it, but what you need to know write now is that, though I got several very awesome CDs, I found a classic in my closet today. The W's-Fourth From the Last.
Be Jealous. It's still awesome, filled with amazing memories from my childhood. I used to have an orange "the Devil is Bad" t-shirt. On the back it had a cartoon devil looking up at a fast-falling blue bowling ball that had the W's written on it. So cool.
Now, I am in a pretty good mood. I got my Iphone working with my new alarm clock after hours of trying to load music from Itunes, and somehow trying on my new clothes to make sure they fit good and then reorganizing my clothes felt good. I'm not exactly sure why. It did make my room quite cleaner. I am finally going to try and clean up my room, and I believe I am getting a queen sized bed. Both of these are good things pertaining to my room. It might actually look reasonably like a well kempt 18 year old guys room instead of just a mess.
So yesterday I worked out at the club til I got kicked out. Thats not really important I just thought it sounded cool. It sounds like it could be an item on my bucket list to cross off, if I had a bucket list. I'm not really into making stuff like that. I then proceeded to have a nice dinner with my family for Christmas Eve.
I have gone two days this week without doing my ballhandling challenge, tomorrow will be the third day in the week(or first day in a new week). I havent done it. This is depressing, because I only like allowing one day off a week, so I will have to do it for like two weeks straight to make up for that crap. Ugh, its frustrating, but I will make up for my own insolence.
I woke up in a good mood, had a good time at breakfast, and then opening and giving presents. It's so weird to see how Christmas changes over the years. Back in the day, you wake up at like 6 after hardly sleeping, are just stoked out of your mind, and go running to the tree, check out the present, and annoy your parents til they get ready to open presents, everyone still in pajamas. Now, I forced myself to wake up at nine and get ready for the day. No day is started right without a shower, getting totally ready and decent looking, and a little morning exercise. So I am totally ready, and wait patiently for my parents to shower, though my mom did make breakfast, and I put on some coffee. We slowly make our way through everything. Back in the day we took a break part way through presents so that the kids could play with new toys. Not so anymore, and there are much less toys nowadays. Clothes used to be dumb, now they are appreciated.
But what toys we get are way more complicated. I spent a long while today frustrated out of my mind with this guitar pedal today, which connects to the computer to change settings, because for some reason they made the default settings crap. But I couldnt figure out how to change the settings to what I want on the computer. It's way too complicated, so I will recruit some help later. I gave up, it was too much. And it was made worse because I feel bad being mad on Christmas, because I know its not what my focus should be on, whether my petty new gadgets work.
And here is my learning bit for the day. I get most angry when things dont work right all the time. I realize this is normal for people to get angry when things go wrong, no one is mad when things are right, but I like stuff perfect. Peter pointed it out in guitar that I get frustrated whenever I get something hard to do and cant do it right away. I get mad whenever I continually mess up in ballhandling. I try to keep my attitude up and im getting better, but when my ball goes rolling across the gym and I am forced to walk after it, I'm not a happy camper. I am trying to fix this negative reaction, but it is very hard. I think it correlates with my drive to do better, but it really doesnt help. I'm not very nice to people when I'm frustrated, and that makes me more frustrated. It's a vicious cycle. So prayerfully I will get better at this.
I hope you had a Merry Christmas, I'm out.

Mr. 89 and lessons from bball

I ask that you give me a minute to rant before i move onto what's up in my life. As many of you have heard, UConn has won 89 games straight in womens basketball. Surpassing John Wooden's 88 game streak. To which I say, whoop de freakin doo. I do not follow womens basketball, I dont think it that fun to watch, but thats just my opinion. Apparently, UConn's coach, Geno Auriemma, thinks differently.
"The reason everybody is having a heart attack the last four or five days is a bunch of women are threatening to break a men's record, and everybody is all up in arms about it...All the women are happy as hell and they can't wait to come in here and ask questions. All the guys that loved women's basketball are all excited, and all the miserable bastards that follow men's basketball and don't want us to break the record are all here because they're pissed...If we were breaking a women's record, everybody would go, 'Aren't those girls nice, let's give them two paragraphs in USA Today, you know, give them one line on the bottom of ESPN and then let's send them back where they belong, in the kitchen.'"
Well thanks Phil Jackson.
Look, 89 straight wins is a big deal, I dont care what sport. Its not the same as John Woodens record. The girls game is completely different, why compare the two records? 1. If espn had not said anything about this record for the past 4 days, would any of us know about it. no. 2. Now that it has been broken, do any of us care? NO. Do people watch the men's game more for legitimate reasons, like the speed, athleticism, and well, the men are generally just all around better(thats not being sexist, go watch the nba and the wnba and then accuse me of sexism)? Yes they do. So stop even comparing the two things Geno, you wont win in this argument, and no one is angry that you are passing a record. they are just angry that you seem to think people who dont think the womens game is as hard to win in as the mens game are sexist. Ridiculous. I dont understand whatever happened to the coach of teams being respectable and showing class. I guarantee you a great man like John Wooden would never make a remark like the quote above. I'm done with my rant.
Back to my life. So I'm still very excited about bball, I dont see that changing anytime soon. I love working hard to achieve my goals, I just get kind of upset when my goals get shatter by injury. I just want to work hard, try out for a team, and the worst thing they can do is say no. But it isnt worth it to not go 100%, I can do my job and then the rest is up to God. I realize that I keep saying stuff like that, but you know what, its true so I will keep saying it. Maybe I'll make it my theme.
This morning I was reminded of another lesson from point guard college. I came into practice today and was so tired as I started my ballhandling. I was sucking and I was not excited about being at bball at 9 in the morning. After fumbling the ball on the easiest drills a few times, I remember this concept, "energizing yourself is a skill." I told myself "I'm not tired," like Steve Nash does in his shooting video, and tried to encourage myself to work hard and have enthusiasm, because it really is up to you how you respond in certain situations. I immediately started to feel better, perform better, and when I made mistakes I wasnt as mad. There are days when you go out, start shooting hoops or whatever you are committed to, and it is so much fun, you just love it. But then there are those days, like today was for me, where you just dont want to be there, and its not fun at all. That's when it is important to encourage yourself, psyche yourself up, because it really is your choice how you approach what you do. Be a thermostat not a thermometer, and change your surroundings, dont let your surroundings change you.
So, I went to dinner tonight at Santillis. They were shorthanded but even for being short people they were really slow on their service. I didnt really care, but its kind of hard when you plan on ordering dessert and then dont because it would probably take another hour. And usually I'm not one to complain about food, especially Italian food, but I ordered a tenderloin and they put it on marinara sauce instead of alfredo, so I sent it back, because, I really like alfredo.  I wasnt very upset with that, I eat fast anyway so I figured I'd be done about the same time anyway(and I was). However, I also ordered my tenderloin well, just ask bryan, he knows I dont like blood or red in my steak. Well, my meal comes back, this time on alfredo, only to find it was probably medium rare. Yeah. Don't get me wrong, it was still very good and the server was very friendly, but I didnt want to wait any longer to eat and I want my food done at least reasonably right. Is that to much to ask?
So now I feel super negative for most of this blog, so I will change that a bit. I have guitar tomorrow, I'm finishing Christmas shopping tomorrow, I'm full of food, Christmas is in a few days, I finished my rap lyrics(i'm working on the guitar riffs), music overall makes me a happy guy right now, more basketball will be on tv soon enough, I'm walking around and working out plenty, Im about halfway done with senior year, am settling in on college decisions(unless something with bball strangely changes my mind), and I am enjoying trying to grow closer to Christ. So I guess that's pretty cool, it's pretty cool.
Lastly, Andrew Schwab writes a mean blog. Its just at andrewschwab.com, he is the frontman for project 86. I feel like I can relate to him well, kind of  like we could be bros. Probably because he likes sports, obviously likes good music, and writes some beast blogs. Way more beast than mine, because all of his have some insightful spiritual message, that almost always seem to connect with me. So check it out and see if you can agree.

College ball and Rap

On breaks I seem to post more often, its always nice to have some time.
So Patriot Basketball got killed by sunnyside christian and then beat desales in overtime. Its nice to start league play with a win, even if it wasnt pretty. I like that the senior class at Liberty can basically just hang out and talk yet still have a decent time. I ended up at Caleb Harts on Friday, and a bunch of us watched Elf and then just talked for a while. However, he could have informed us of the hot tub earlier.Saturday after the game it was all slick outside so I ended up just hitting up applebees with a few people. Today was church, and then work, and then I hung out with Victor for the rest of the day, even though we didnt find much to do. Oh well, I want to do some more stuff over the break with people. So hopefully I'll find something, but I'm not too worried.
Saturday after shootaround I had a nice long conversation with Coach Watson about college basketball stuff. We went on a few tangents, but basically I have to start basically making a basketball resume for schools, explain my situation, and find someone who will give me a shot. I'm very excited about it, but I feel like the list of schools I send this to wont be very big. I seem to be getting surer of George Fox over time, so when my dad asked "What if you can play bball for Pacific and not for Fox?" I was a little taken aback. I am not going to worry to much about it because there is no point in that when I havent even started, but it is something to think about. I started scouting schools and their rosters, and I think I could fit in well for most of these Division 3 NCAA schools, but some of the NAIA schools look a little daunting considering what my resume looks like and my whole adjustment to the collegiate level. Anyway, I really think I have a good shot at playing, even if it means redshirting freshman year, I dont care I just love the game. I'm stoked for the challenge.
Musically, I almost feel constantly inspired to write, but I dont do it all the time, and I realize that I might just stop feeling inspired pretty soon. Sometimes things like that just happen. I got a Snow Patrol mix from Victor, and it is quite good. I love Gary Lightbody's voice, it's pretty fun to sing along with too, a nice range and stuff.
So, I keep hearing this crappy rap at our basketball games, and on mixes, and it makes me want to write a totally cliche rap song, just to say I did it. The basic elements of these songs: 1.Start with listing your credentials(straight outta North Richland), your name, and the year. 2. The chorus has to have a small singing part, 10 words max, that is repeated over and over, with either sound effects(huh!) or some random rap line between repeats. 3. The verse has to include metaphors and similes about how good at life or how hardcore you are. 4. The bridge must be a faster rap with much more ridiculous and even childlike metaphors(cartoon characters and what not), or a slower yet harder few lines about how notorious you are. 5.You may have one small guitar riff that repeats along with the song's beat, you can change this riff slightly for the chorus and tweak the beats a little, and you can make a new riff and more dramatic beats for the bridge.
Did I miss anything? I know it is necessary to drink a sprite before rapping, because if you dont it is impossible to come up with intuitive lines like "Last name ever, first name greatest."
That's all I got

Are you very accepting and compassionate towards the crippled? Hmmm, I should probably mark that pretty high...

So two days in and ballhandling is going good, and I'm definitely not as good as I'd like to be, so I'm pretty happy to get to work. Also, I got back to the club, so working out is always good. I realized that I need to put on a good amount of muscle before basketball, so I'm starting to make a slight conscious effort to eat healthier. More lean meats, salads, you know, healthy stuff that helps you build muscle. It feels good to eat well and work out, almost like it's what is good for me... nah.
So now, I have been accepted to 6 schools, I'm pretty okay with this. Corban and Whitworth's acceptance letters came today. All this college stuff just gets me excited. Senior year is almost halfway over, finals are in mid January but Christmas break starts tomorrow. Next year at this time, I will be done with college finals most likely, and either playing basketball or headed home for Christmas. It's crazy to think about, but the weird thing is you can never know what will happen in the next year. I had much different plans for my senior year, it was supposed to be "the best year of your life! Yaaayyyyyy!" to state the common conception about senior year. I'm not going to get back into that, but I'm stoked for my future, no matter if it involves basketball, optometry, certain colleges, or anything else I want. As long as I let God take me where he wants me, I'll be fine.
So I took a spiritual gifts test in Bible yesterday. It was odd. Some of the questions were loony. However, I was already quite sure that I am not a prophet or a healer. Not exactly my forte. But I feel like my top 2, Faith and Music, arent very insightful for spiritual gifts. Faith??? I think that is part of buying into Christianity, it better be a pretty high category! Music, yeah it's a gift that can be used for God's Kingdom, but lets be serious, I wouldnt call it a spiritual gift. Things like encouragement, serving, and teaching are spiritual gifts, I wouldnt say getting up and playing guitar really qualifies in those categories. I guess it kind of is, but it's one of those things that is hard to harness and build up Gods Kingdom on a day to day basis. I play in chapel once a week, and Intersect less than once a month. "Oh, I recieve Word from God on things he thinks the body needs to work on." "I enjoy serving the needy, crippled, anything where someone needs help." "Oh I occasionally bust out a few tasty licks on the ol guitar." Just doesnt seem to be quite the same, but its true that it is an important thing in the church. I dont know, I just needed to ramble a bit about that.
Speaking of music, Chiodos new CD is tight. I cant handle the guys voice or the slightly creepy guitar riffs. Queens Club also has a new EP that is pretty nice, I actually like the acoustic versions of a few of their songs.
I don't really want to go to school tomorrow. It's just going to be an hour and a half of nothing, though I might go grab a few treats from my first grade ta since they are having a party. I know, I say that right after I mention wanting to eat better, oh well, 1 cookie or something aint bad. I just want to do some musical stuff, i have an itch to perform a bit for some reason, I want to work out, and I want to improve at bball.
Lastly, I have watched SNL's best of Will Ferrel several times in the past week, I should probably return it to Hastings, but it is so funny. One might say it is a blinding, brilliant light from heaven. If you havent seen Dissing Your Dog, please do. I can relate so much to the main guy, Dave, since I too enjoy insulting my families dogs, namely Cooper.
Excited for Christmas break, Shy Ronnie

Yes they can.

Cripples can improve at basketball. After I wrote my last blog, I read over the notes I took from point guard college. I love PGC, I feel like I am cheating when I read the basketball tips they give, they are just so sick, yet so few people do what it says. However, I cant use those tips yet in my game, but they teach life lessons through basketball. From not comparing yourself to others, to not making excuses, to encouraging people, to learning from failures. "Success in life consists of moving from one failure to the next without losing enthusiasm."-Winston Churchill. When I fail, I need to move forward without becoming discouraged, that won't get me anywhere.
But besides life lessons, I remembered this thing PGC does called the 30 Day Challenge. What it is is you pick a certain skill and focus on it for 30 days straight. This lets you see the improvement by focusing on 1 thing, and 30 days is a doable goal that is still long enough to create a habit. And it is supposed to be 45 min max, so starting Wednesday, I am starting on a ballhandling 30 day challenge. I made up a 30 minute routine, and I think I can do it at the beginning of each bball practice while others warm up. I'm quite excited. I will finish on January 14.
Another reason for my excitement is the news I got at my doctors app yesterday. Dr. Kody says 1. I can walk now, 2. I can ride the bike now, 3. The ACL he put in was huge, which makes it stronger, 4. He used dissolvable screws so they just turn into bone eventually. So no tearing my acl again on the screw, although I dont understand why dissolvable screws arent standard... 5. I can wear my sports brace now again instead of that giant I was wearing. 6. I should be able to return to bball at 9 months post operation, which means I will be healthy by Bball season next year! This gets me extremely happy, although nervous because I need to work really hard. It's going to be interesting.
Then today I went to physical therapy, and my physical therapist says that I can drive my car, so whenever it gets back from the shop I will give it a go. Overall a very nice series of events.
So yesterday I was sitting in the guitar center in Spokane, jamming on a 7 string, and some old guy randomly came up to me and started talking to me about some book about some guitarist and some random tuning. I politely said I would check out the tuning, but it raises several questions. 1. The guy smelled horrible, so I wondered what exactly he had been smoking, I'm not good at recognizing scents. 2. Is he basically just telling me to rethink how I play because I suck? but I was playing a 7 string so the tuning didnt even apply, and 3. why do people awkwardly come up to me??? I know this happens to everyone a little, but I think it happens to me more than normal. I believe it runs in the family, because it happens to my dad too, we must look like good people to talk to apparently. Very weird.
I went to the Kamiakin Richland game yesterday, and it was pretty sweet. Case Rada has a pure jumper, its absurd. Kamiakin was obviously the better team, but Richland fought hard and almost came back. It was quite entertaining to watch, especially since I'd played probably 75% of the people on both teams.
I might have written more, but I have to head to Burbank for tonights game

Can cripples improve at basketball?

It's very hard for me to not be able to move well. I am allowed full weightbearing now but am not allowed to walk without crutches til i can walk without a limp. That helps a lot for me not feeling too bad, but it still makes me feel bad at basketball practice. I dont know if I've made this clear or not, but my drive to improve is higher than your average person. I've said I like going 100% at stuff, and I enjoy practicing like that. I want to get as good as I can as fast as I can, screwing around on the court is not something I spend much time doing. Okay, so I am not serious the whole time, because come on I have to practice my underhand Terry Watson signature shot a few times every once in a while, but for the most part I like to work hard. If at the end of your workout you cannot say you got better, you wasted your time. So this is very hard to do when I am on crutches. I can shoot short range shots, working on focus and form, and I can do some ballhandling(which I should get to do more of this week and on), but it's hard to feel like I got a whole lot better, especially compared to people on the court for 2 and a half hours a day. So I am struggling with that right now, I think it will improve over the next few weeks as I get more capable of exercise, but its not fun currently.
I already mentioned it is not easy to watch games for liberty, but it's hard for me to even watch high school highlights too. I realized this yesterday. I always wanted to be one of the guys in the highlights, and luckily it did happen a bit last year, but it just feels wrong because I just think "I should be out there doing that." It's just weird, and it's kind of hard at times.
This week I got accepted to Carrol College in Montana, and Linfield College down in Oregon. I like getting accepted to schools, even if I have no real intention of going there. Carrol, is WAY cheaper than the other colleges I want to go to. They already have a less expensive tuition, and they gave me a beastly scholarship, but its a strong Catholic school, and its in freaking Montana, so I really dont want to go there. Linfield, as I mentioned in earlier blogs, was really boring when I visited there, and they have frustrated me throughout the application process. They have sent me scholarship stuff, tons of emails about events, but didnt even tell me if I was accepted til today. And even in the acceptance letter, they didnt say what my annual scholarship would be. Really unorganized, I am unimpressed.
I'm kind of waiting for snl to be on, its the Christmas special, I woke up at 11 today, and I'd really like the pancakes I ate at Denny's to digest some more. But some people(Jacob, Christian, Nathan, and Hannah) are not cool because they said they would go to Dennys and then decided to go to McDonald's at the last minute. Denny's wins every time, I dont even understand how you would want to go to McDonald's over a million other restraunts. Terrible.
Anyway, the first graders are thoroughly disturbed by my crutches. Lots of staring and whispering to each other "he has crutches." I can only laugh as they wonder what I did. If one of them asks me Im going to tell them that I didnt eat my vegetables as a kid.
That's all.

We're all broken, like Misfit Toys, It's Christmas Mix Time

So, quite the day.
My Finals are done!!!!! Christmas Break for CBC and only 3 hours at liberty everyday. Im quite happy. I am possibly done with Calculus for my life, and my essay on the Abuse of Auto-tune was a success.
If you didnt know, I really dont like autotuning, besides autotune the news of course. I think it takes the feeling out of music and im not down with people changing the pitch of their voice to perfect when they cant do it on their own. People are talented for a reason, dont let people who shouldnt be singers pretend to be. That means you last name ever first name greatest. Thats my belief and I'm sticking to it.
First home Patriots game today. We started out on fire, ended up winning by 20. I cannot express how badly I want to play, it sucks. But my doctor thinks that I will be able to make a full return to athletics, so that is good. My problem is that if I play in college I probably wont be dominant, like i could be this year. And I was really looking forward to that experience for once. Oh well, some things just werent meant to be.
However, its odd to sit on the bench, and I cant even picture myself in the game this year for Liberty. The game dynamics are just so different than they would be. Either way, it was nice to see a win.
I plan on going back to school tomorrow, I have some catching up to do in Physics but whatever I'll figure it out. Ill be nice and lost tomorrow. Physical therapy in the morning too.
For all you who didnt know, basically everyone, yesterday was St Nicholas Day. It is a day to celebrate the real St. Nic, the guy Santa was based off of. My family celebrates it by making cookies and opening our stockings. I know you are all impressed.
I got a book. but thats okay because it's Brian Welch's new book, Stronger, which is like a 40 day devotional but I dont think I will go day by day. He gives a verse or two that has meant something in his walk of faith and tells a story of his life that illustrates how he has seen this in his ridiculous life. The first day? That verse about "I dont wanna gain the whole world, and lose my soul!" to quote dc talks rendition. So he told a story about how him and Kid Rock went on Metallicas private jet, a bunch of them did cocaine, which Brian claims isnt even fun he doesnt understand why he ever did it because it always just sucked, and they ended up in the back of some club, completely paranoid, and one guy(unnamed) in Metallica ended up basically mute for the night from the cocaine. Ridiculous, and quite the illustration to prove the verse. I'm pretty interested to see whats up next.
Lastly for the night. I'm guessing some of you have been wondering "Hey, its Christmas time, and all these Christmas songs are playing. I wonder what Ron listens to at Christmas time?" I know thats definitely been on everyones mind. Well to answer that burning question, I have a nice Christmas mix that is growing slowly.
Here's the list currently.
1-5 This Time of Year EP- Project 86. What can be said, its incredible.
6. Kidnap The Sandy Claws- Korn. Jonathan Davis covering the song from "Nightmare Before Christmas." Very Nice.
7. Zat You Santa Claus?-Neon Horse. Louis Armstrong originally, it's murky.
8. You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch-Queens Club. Murky, again.
9. Ho Ho Hey!(A way for Santas sleigh)- Emery. Pretty sweet.
10. When I Get Home For Christmas- Snow Patrol. I dont know if this is a cover, its slow but cool.
11. This Is War- Dustin Kensrue. Its an original song, and yes, Dustin is the lead singer for Thrice.
I realize Coldplay just came out with a Christmas song, and its fine, just a bit boring. I'm still looking for some more sweet songs, if you know then, you know, tell me. but be warned, if you even mention Family Force 5, it will not be pretty. Way to mess up perfectly fine Christmas songs.
Th..th..thats all folks

College, Meaning, Whatever I feel like, heck its my blog. Why not?

So quick update on the knee. I'm off pain pills, I might take some Tylenol every once in a while, but my pain is minimal. I now have to work on weightbearing so I can get back to walking and I need to work on my range of motion. Other than that, I dont have a lot to say about my knee.
I am kind of getting excited about college. I've been accepted to my top two schools, George Fox University and Pacific University. I just hope someone decides to join me if i go to fox, because I know no one else will go to Pacific. I am not worried about making friends, I think I will still stay close with my close friends that dont go there, but it's always nice to have some familiarity. Also, when I get to college I will be closer to playing sports, which is already bothering me, even though college bball on cbs just started today and the high school season started yesterday. I am quite stoked to meet a bunch of new people and move onto a new chapter in life, hopefully a chapter with new challenges, because I'm sick of physical injury that has plagued high school for me. Obviously I dont know if thats what will happen, but I find myself wanting some new stuff. I feel really weird writing this kind of stuff because I dont want to offend anyone i currently hang out with. I love my friends, I love my family, I love going to my current church, and none of that will ever change. But I'm tired of high school. It's easy, and its repetitive, and 1/3 of my high school classes are being taken despite my strong arguments against it. i'll let you figure out what that class is... but it constantly grates on my nerves, even though it is the subject that i talk about most. Im tired of the tri cities in the winter. I hate the cold, and I will take rain over snow any day. I'm just sort of stuck in the same old. Christmas, friends and family help, but school, and laying around these last few days do not help. I feel that besides building relationships with people, I'm not involved in anything significant. Here's how I constantly feel: this far in my life has been building up for something. I think that sounds stupid, because I'm 17 so I sure hope that something more meaningful is coming haha, but I would not be satisfied with a life without legacy. I dont think God has called me to live a life just walking through the motions. I could never be satisfied with that. And maybe thats why I want something new, because I feel like my life is generally just going through the motions right now.
So to be less serious but sort of on the same subject, crazy activities dont really make a lot of sense to me. People seem to try and find a lot of their life fulfillment, or at least try to be happy, by doing crazy stuff. Whether its climbing on top of a water tower, going to parties, just doing really random activities. If thats you, awesome. Great for you, whatever works for you as long as you still keep Christ numero uno. But I dont understand how that stuff is fun. I always feel like I'm boring because I dont care about that stuff and people I know cant stand just talking, joking around, playing sports or exercising in general, watching tv or movies with people, or doing musical stuff. Thats the kind of thing that I like, even though I realize it may not be incredibly exciting all the time. Does that make me boring? Maybe. Will doing random activities make me less boring to others? Maybe. Will doing random stuff make me really excited? No, it will be just be, eh, whatever. So do I really care if other people think I'm boring? No, not really, it's just who I am.
Now, I am quite excited recently about music. I want to develop what I have done more, get new sounds and riffs, maybe write some more, then I want to record a product I can be proud of. I dont know what to call it, whatever I decide to call my project. I'm guessing I will have victor help some, but I will do a lot on my own, and I dont feel like Ron and the Snakes is the title I want to go under, since my lyrics are usually not jokes like that name, so its kind of the wrong impression. I dont know right now, I'm sure Ill figure out something.
Lastly, people are changing their profile pics to cartoon characters for child abuse prevention. I'm quite proud of having Sir Hiss as my profile pic. I'm bringing back what may have been the original Saucy Snake.

Surgery=fun stuff. Well more fun than last time anyway

So I'm about ten or eleven hours out of surgery, and I think the nerve block that they put in my leg has pretty much warn off. I am currently enjoying the CPM(constant passive motion) machine. Basically, it slowly moves my leg between straight and 40 degrees, and its pretty awesome at making my knee feel good. The Office is on and I think how i met your mother starts on fox in a bit, which I'm quite excited about.
So we drove up to Spokane yesterday, and it was clear until about Ritzville. After Ritzville it got very snowy, amounting to about a 40 mph climb into spokane. Thank God for the 4runner we are borrowing from a friend.
I had a good meal at Chilis, even though Honey Chipolte Crispers sort of have a tea taste. Afterwards I got to have a good work out. I have more to write about it but I will wait til after I describe some surgery stuff since I know thats what most people will read this blog for.
So, the surgery went really well. My doctor, Dr Kody, is a really good surgeon and a great guy to go along with it. He was really chill and relaxed when he was explaining the surgery and recovery. So, they put in a dead guys patellar tendon as my new acl, but instead of the 9 mm graft from my patellar tendon last time, this one is 12 or 13 mm. This extra thickness is supposed to help it be stronger. Kody was very pleased with how the surgery went. I am in less pain than last time since I didnt have my own body parts removed to make the graft. That is good, I can do weightbearing in like a week or so.
While Kody was in there, he took out the screws from the last surgery. He also found out most likely why I tore my ACL again. The upper screw was protruding out of the bone a bit, and the tear was a clean cut. So basically, the theory is that every time I straightened my leg, the acl would push against this screw(which is not dull by the way), til eventually, like anything pushing against metal, my acl snapped. This is disappointing but it`s nice to know that i really was strong, and didnt just blow the acl on my own. I have the old screws in a plastic bag. They are a pretty good size, but they are hollow on the inside with holes in each end.
Im home relaxing for at least the rest of the week, and Dr. Kody says in about 4 weeks I will feel like my leg is fine. That's a common problem with allografts(dead people grafts), people feel so good that they end up coming back too early, before the ACL is strong, and they retear it.
Im excited to feel better again sooner, but I cant ride a bike til 3 weeks post operation, so I will be in need of some cardio. Maybe I will do those arm bikes for a while or something, I dont know. Oh well, my muscle is supposed to return quicker since its just the graft healing and not part of my patellar tendon or hamstring. I'm also excited that I can move my leg around already, its not just limp like last time.
So thats enough about my surgery. If thats all you wanted to read then I guess you dont have to keep reading. I wanted to say thank you to all the people who prayed for me and will continue to pray for me throughout my recovery.
I finished my last workout of the year and decided it was a good time to pray, right in the exercise room at the Holiday Inn express, where 9 months ago I was eager to go out and play Pe Ell for the championship game. I realized that I keep saying I hope God uses me mightily through these tears, but in that I was very focused on MY LIFE being good. How will God make MY LIFE work out? And thats not what its about. I dont deserve anything in this life, to quote thrice again "can you hear now that everything's grace, after all. If there's one thing I know in this life, we are beggars all." When I committed myself to Christ, my life no longer belonged to me, but it became God's for him to work through me. That's the truth, so it doesnt matter how my life plays out as long as I live it for Him.
Now, on an unserious note, unrelated to ACLs, that I just keep forgetting to put in my blog. So I applied to Linfield a while ago, and had to put down categories in which I wanted to compete for a scholarship. I had to pick 3, so I put down Chemistry and Math, naturally, but I didnt know what to put for the 3rd. I saw, Music:Instrumental, was a category, but that if I put that I had to list what instrument I would be playing. I told my mom "Look, Ill just put electric guitar down, so they will look at it, reject it right off the bat, and I will get either Chemistry or Math. No college wants to here electric guitar for a scholarship hahaha." I got a letter from Linfield like last week or something, and yes, you guessed it, it was an invitation from Linfield's music department inviting me to participate for a scholarship. Ha ha ha ha, Crap. So I think I might just go record a few songs and submit them to Linfield, hoping for the best. I'm still hoping I get a letter from the chemistry of math department, but I might not.
Lastly, my senior pics came in, so i will post some soon. Ladies, I suggest you sit down before looking at them,  wouldnt want anyone to pass out and get hurt just from viewing my sheer attractiveness.
You've been warned, and thats all for now as I sit relaxing at home.

Oh yeah, this could turn out so many ways

So, it's kind of late, I have to go to CBC early, and I still havent done the Bible assignment on Ephesians. Whatever, I'm pro at Bible assignments as long as they arent skits...
So, this week was, interesting. Tuesday, pretty normal from what I remember. Ran a few miles that night that felt great, did some working out, and went to sleep.
Woke up at 3:30 that night, so sick. It was not pretty. I was in and out of sleep and a stomach ache the whole day Wednesday after a long night of throwing up. Not cool, at all. Luckily it only lasted 24 hours, but by then we had called off thanksgiving on thursday, so we made the thanksgiving meal that they had on Biggest Loser the night earlier. It was pretty tasty, and yes, I do watch the Biggest Loser. Dont hate on me, a DQ Blizzard and the Biggest Loser are a Tuesday made in heaven. Except this was a special on Wednesday...but oh well.
However, this sickness knocked out my metabolism, I didnt feel like eating even when I felt good on Wednesday. I lost five pounds on Tuesday and Wednesday, Ridiculous. Now, this wouldnt be a big deal but it reminded me of what its like after ACL surgery. Which is on Wednesday. Which got me all mad because I have to lie around for a week, will have less than the appetite that I desire for a few months, because I wont be as active til I can run again, although Ill still lift weights after a week and bike after 3 weeks. So, I will lose a lot of muscle, wont be able to eat as much during Christmas time, and I do very much enjoy my sweets, and generally wont feel as good because of my lack of exercise. I dont like any of this.
Notice I did not say gain fat. I might gain a tiny bit in the one week im just laying around, but I am thoroughly convinced I will never be fat. I do have a nice sweet tooth, so Travis tells me all the time I willl get fat, but the truth is when it's not good for me to eat, I dont eat. If I'm working out a lot, getting plenty of exercise, I will overeat occasionally because I know i will burn it off. When I'm not working out I just stop eating that much. I noticed this last time I tore my ACL, I would get full faster and really not have the room to overeat. It was really weird, I was just fine and then boom I'd get full. And any time I dont work out I am not very happy so I couldnt stand putting on fat. Ever. So, I realize that paragraph probably bored some of you to death, but I wanted to type it. So there, its my blog so Ill do what I want.
So Im working really hard to be joyful even when I dont feel like it, because I kind of feel screwed over right now. I'm really uncertain about the surgery, its gonna suck, and I dont know how it will turn out in a year. A lot of times the second ACL repair isnt great for going back into sports, but I really want to play sports. There isnt much research on how well people return to sport after a 2nd ACL tear. Obviously, people are doing it(Michael Redd and Robbie Hummel to name a few), but there is no real documentation about it.This makes me incredibly nervous and kind of sad about my future, but I know that's not what God wants. I know He has a plan for me but its hard to see it right now. I believe He will use me some awesome way because of what I've been through, but what if He doesnt? What if I get to being old, look back, and say, "yeah those two ACL tears in high school never really led to anything, they just sucked." See, there I go again worrying about what's going to happen in the future, but I know that's not in my control and I just have to trust God. I'll find out what was up when I get to heaven or maybe sooner. It's going to be interesting but I know all in all my life will be okay.
Because everything other than athletics seems to be alright for me. CBC finishes up next week, I only have a few class periods left and then some finals that I think will be easy. I am done with college applications, and spent a few hours today doing 4 more, to bring my total to 8. I dont like applications, especially when I dont have a desire to go to the school. Im quite sure I will be at Pacific or George Fox next year, but supposedly you can use other colleges scholarship offers as bargaining chips to bring down college cost. Like say Whitworth gives me an awesome scholarship, but I really dont want to go there, I can use it to say to George Fox hey I want to go to you guys but look what Whitworth is giving me? You wanna, you know, give me a little bit more off? eh?
So hopefully that works out like that because I dont want to go to Carrol, Whitworth, Linfield, and I dont know much about Corban but I dont have much desire to go there at all.
I am cool with Seattle Pacific, and quite okay with Westmont, since it is great academically and located in Santa Barbara. Yeah, I would not miss the snow at all. But its expensive and I didnt apply in time for early action, so I might not know anything more until like February to April.
Quick recap, I did have Thanksgiving Friday instead, it was delicious, but I didnt really eat a whole ton. Saturday I went to Travis house and had a pretty good time with more people than I want to type right now. Todays sermon was pretty much about what I already said I was worrying about. Trusting in God through storms. It also used Matthew 11:28-30, which if you dont know is the verse used for the song Come All Ye Weary by Thrice.  I realize this is not the first time I have mentioned this song, but really, its so good and I like thrice a lot. Their music is so sick and they are basically what I would be like if I toured around the country. Totally chill, not party-ers, they just enjoy playing music for people. It's awesome. And if you have read victors most recent blog the song The Weight by Thrice has a lot of the same ideas, and its a cool sounding song too.
Alright, good night. Keep me and my crippled knee in your prayers please

ITS SNOWING!!!! m'kay...

Seriously, please stop posting about the snow, people. Why is it good when it snows??? I understand public school kids being excited, because its a 2 hour delay or whatever, but Liberty kids, we already have the week off...so basically the snow just makes the road slick for driving. And I have CBC anyway, so I have to go. Unless I decide to skip. And no, I'm not one of those people who takes their car out and does donuts, it's not really my deal. Basically, it's just freakin cold, and wet, and somewhat annoying to drive in, very annoying when you are stuck behind white knuckle drivers. So call me negative, but I dont get really excited when it snows.
Now, I am quite excited to have the week off. I could use the sleep, some extra time at the club, and hopefully some more time to hang out with friends.
I dont think people realize how committed I get to stuff. Not in a bad way though. For example, I attend two youth groups, intersect and new vintage youth church. I have had people from both groups happy to have me there, but also like "I'm kind of surprised you keep coming." I think this is because people see me just standing places, sort of dejected looking I guess, and  think that is how my life sort of goes. Fact is, I am not good at small talk. Surprise. I feel so lame just going up to people without anything really to say. This is also why I dont text people a lot. Once I get talking its fine, it's not like I'm a totally boring person(I dont think), but starting conversations just seems weird. I usually end up making a couple of general statements back and forth and then it just gets awkwardly silent, like I'm supposed to say something but I really dont have a clue what to say that would be interesting to talk about. That's probably another problem, not wanting to make simple small talk. I like knowing people, I dont really like acquaintances.
anyway i got off track. When I go to something more than like twice, or if I sign up for something on my own, without being practically forced into it, I will probably keep coming. Projects are the same way. I'm either like, "this is stupid" or "this is pretty cool." This ties back to doing things 100% i think, I'm either in or I'm not. So that's enough learning about me today.
Yesterday I went to the Blazers Jazz game. I am not so pleased that the Jazz won, but it was the Blazers fault. They didnt guard CJ Miles, who was on fire. Seriously, get a hand in the shooters face please. But nicolas batum had one of the sickest reverse layups Ive seen, so that was nice.
Tonight Intersect had an all worship night, and I got to play guitar so that was a nice experience. However, my guitar tone sounded horrible, since I ran through the floor pod and my amp. Normally I just use the floor pod as a whammy and occasionally other effects, and just leave the tone for the amp, but that was not the case tonight. Oh well, it turned out alright anyway, even if we didnt play Come All Ye Weary, which I just want to do sometime for someone. Eh, it'll happen.
Showbread came out with a new album. Its free at comeandlive.com. It sounds so much different though and I'm not so sure I like it, but it might grow on me. I do love the song "Myth of a Christian Nation." And I like that they are staying purely Chistian even though they arent on tooth and nail records anymore. I hope the free tour they are putting on comes around here, and is after bball season.
I want to work out, I want to write music, and I want to read a lot of books even though I dont really enjoy reading because I like learning new stuff, especially stuff that helps me grow spiritually. Although I do also want to get through Stuff All Good Players Should Know too. I should be able to do some of all that stuff this week, which is good.
Then on December 1st I have ACL surgery. Please keep me in your prayers, pray for safe recovery and that the graft is good and holds up this time. The second repair generally has a lower success rate than the first one, but I am getting a new type of graft so hopefully it will do better. I would appreciate any prayer I can get. Thanks.

I Stay True

Basketball season has started!! except i'm not playing...Whatever I'm not going to sulk about it. I get the opportunity to help out with the team, I'm not sure what my official title is, basically I help out as an assistant. So when I see something wrong, I try to help out.
However, I'd like to personally improve at bball this season too, so during 5 and a halfs, I am doing ballhandling. Last time I tore my acl, i focused all on shooting. This time, while still doing shooting, I am adding in a ton of ballhandling. This has always been a struggle for me, since I really dont like taking the time to do these drills, so this is the perfect opportunity. So I am hopeful that it will work for my game.
So, we had a Physics lab at Washington Physical Therapy and the guy that led us around, Victor, was crazy. He was so freaking buff he could bench 135, with one hand, do two finger pullups, and maxed out at 465 on bench. Animal. So he recommended to do these negative lifts, where you just let a large amount of weight down slowly, and let me tell you, it burns like crazy. I hope doing this will help me put on a good amount of muscle, if you have any other sweet workout tips, tell me.
Once again, I am unhappy about being in class with old people for English. We get an extra credit debate on Tuesday, you get credit if you make a good point in the discussion. We could pick ANYTHING to debate about, and what gets chosen? Legalizing pot, Death with dignity, Drug testing for wellfare, and the death penalty. Why do you want to talk about this!!!!???? Why cant we talk about something that isnt so controversial and serious!!!??? Lebron vs kobe, pc vs mac, pepsi vs coke, cats vs dogs, who is worse nickelback or the jonas brothers. Come on! I dont want to talk about these things, I think most people in my class are more liberal than me, and have studied more about this stuff than me because they obviously want to talk about it. I dont understand, maybe it has something to do with the demographic of night classes, because I'm quite sure these arent the four topics the morning classes chose. Although pot is probably one of the topics, for various reasons.
If you didnt know, there was a concert on Tuesday featuring Silverline, Red, Disciple, and most importantly Brian "head" Welch, even though Red was headlining. Say what you will about Korn, but they know how to put on a show, and it showed when Head performed. 1. They looked creepy, which is a good thing when you are a metal band. 2. The bassist was ridiculously good. 3. Brian welch has a crazy good scream even though he was sick and didnt get to perform many songs. 4. Brian also has amazing stage presence, obviously from his years of performing for thousands with Korn. I feel like if more people were at the concert and he was healthy, Head would be even better. I didnt get to see Silverline, but Disciple and Red were both good, and good at performing, but nothing compared to Brian Welch. Emery probably has the most polished performance I have seen still, but this was impressive. I'm very pleased that I went, also because I got his CD Save Me From Myself, which I can never find in store even though it is sweet. It's basically Korn with a Christian message, and Brian isnt as broad with his voices as Jonathan Davis is, but he does a pretty darn good job.
Also, I pretty much just go to concerts for talented bands, so it has two affects on me. It's intimidating, because I  know I'm not as good as they are, and I'm not sure if I ever will be. But on the flip side, its inspirational to see people doing what they have a passion for and it makes me want to play more and get better.
So throughout the years Ive seen various arguments about why certain religions are wrong, and I usually walk away thinking how people can believe that stuff. So I was like, "Look, if there are these things about other religions, I know there are ones about Christianity." I've spent some time looking at why other religions cant be right, because I want to know what I am talking about when confronted with them, so why not see what people say about Christianity?
So I looked it up on google and found some guys reason why Christianity couldnt be true. Surprise, I could counter almost everything he said. The one thing I didnt have an answer to at first read was the differing genealogies of Jesus, but there are explanations for it, the best being that one is marys line and the other josephs. This just took a bit of research, and I think it is good to sort through supposed holes in Christianity, or any religion in that case, to make sure what you believe really is the truth. So most of this guys problems were either taken out of doctrinal teaching, like denying the trinity, or misinformed, saying that Jesus only appeared to a handful of people after his resurrection(when I dont remember the passage, but it says he appeared to like 500 somewhere). He also claimed Jesus was schizophrenic, who just got other crazy people to follow him. Yeah, real creative explanation, obviously understanding of how teachers back in that day worked, picking disciples to follow them. He claimed that no Christian had been able to deny him yet, and I believe it, because some people are impossible to argue with. It is impossible to argue when your answer to almost everything is "that guy is crazy" or "that is exaggerated and/or misinterpreted." That has to be some kind of logical fallacy, I just dont know what to call it. I can say I went on a college trip last week, and say my eyewitnesses(say Mike Groth or that guy Allen at Pacific) wrote about what I did. Say I and my medical records disappear, someone could say, "oh he didnt actually have a torn ACL, that was just an exaggeration, or you misinterpreted what he said." See, it's the same thing. There is no way to win at that game. It's ridiculous.
In summation, no, my faith was not shaken by searching arguments about Christianity, and I cant help but be happy about that. God is good, and He wants us to know why we believe in Him, not just base our faith in some feeling, because feelings are fleeting, but God stays the same forever.
And one last, unspiritual note. The lead singer from disciple could sound like zach de la rocha if he wanted to, so I dont understand why he doesnt try that voice out more.

How my college choice got flipped, turned upside down

Where to start, thats the real question. I guess I'll start with today, Sunday, since I went to church a few times, as usual, and I cleaned the office, as usual. However, I did have lunch at Olive Garden with Katie Ellis and Victor Krause. Soup, salad, and breadsticks are pretty delicious(although it was weird when my mom made pasta fagoli for dinner too...). I hadnt talked to Katie much, besides little bits at New Vintage, since graduation last year. I hadnt hung out with Victor in like 4 days, which isnt a huge deal. So it was good to catch up.
I also filled out college applications today. I know, exciting. Actually it was because I sent in 4 applications, and I'm about 95% sure I'll go to one of the colleges that I sent apps to today. So that was cool even though it took up all the time that I wanted to work out. Eh I have a lot of English to do that I didnt get to, so maybe working out wouldnt have happened either way.
My 4 day weekend was very good. I visited Pacific first. I spent the night in a dorm there. My host Allen was pretty cool, so basically we just chilled, ate, worked out, and while he did homework I watched a movie. So basically days at Pacific are what I do every day. Which is pretty sweet. We talked a lot about bball too, so that was cool. They didnt seem to really care about their sports teams much, their football program started this year, and they were winless. Which is what I am used to. I went to some classes in the morning, part of a biology lab and part of a politics class. I liked the small class sizes a lot, and the campus was very peaceful. Leaving, I felt pretty happy, quite sure that Pacific would be my college next year.
I then went to George Fox. The Bruin Preview was this weekend so it was a big event, unlike my little visit at Pacific. There were about 200 visitors. I went on a campus tour, like yeah this campus is pretty similar to Pacifics, but a little bigger. And they seemed more serious right off the bat about sports than Pacific. On the tour, I got to watch their Mens bball team shoot. They were obviously good, serious athletes in a routine, but I was not impressed by their shots very much. I dont want to brag, but I think my shot is prettier. It would take a lot of work, but I think if I recovered from surgery, buffed up, worked on ballhandling, and got back into shooting several hundred shots a day(all of which I am already planning on doing anyway), I could play for them.(same goes for Pacific but I didnt get to see enough of them playing to make a firm judgement.) I just figured since George Fox is better than Pacific, I could make a D3 squad at the schools I was looking at.
Anyway, the preview started in the auditorium, with a drama performance... I was like, yeah right, screw this school. Then I found out who my host was. It was a small black guy named Marquise, who came across as a very afeminite dude, minoring in some fashion degree. Yeah, I know. I was less than pleased. Following behind Marquise was a big black man named Chris, who also lead me around as sort of a host the next day. Right off the bat they were pretty loud, and I figured this was going to be a long night.
I was wrong. I felt like I was in a black comedy, except it was way funnier to be involved in it. Chris and Marquise ended up being really good guys, despite Marquise having the dorm watch the latest episode of glee(I hate that show so much), they had a very interesting group of guys in their dorm that I wont go into unless asked about it(I dont want to type that much), and they were really good at singing. So I went to a coffee shop for about an hour while they had choir practice, Chris was the director, surprise again. I got to talk to Michael and see some of a concert, so that was pretty tight. Then I went to basically a youth group. The choir sang, and Ill tell you, I have not felt that bad at singing in a while. A big black director belting out the gospel music while I happened to have a tone deaf person near me at all times, its not great for self confidence haha. But really, it was some good worship and the message afterwards was good. I had a great night hanging out with a bunch of guys in the dorm, but I wont totally go into it, this blog is already long and I have more to say.
I went to classes the next morning, two science classes, and they were pretty cool. Then a chapel, an athletic panel, an admissions visit, and I saw the Chemistry and Biology department overview. Here's the deal. When you get to George Fox, they hook you up with a professor who helps keep you on track with classes, helping you reach your goal. They will even help with entry in Pacifics school of Optometry down the road. And their acceptance into med schools is really high, since they have great academics.
So here is the difference between Fox and Pacific, as I weigh out where I want to go. George Fox, throughout the day, I noticed that people were friendlier than they were at Pacific, the sense of community at Pacific didnt compare to George Fox, probably because of the Christian foundation. They are both liberal arts colleges, but George Fox liberal arts has required Bible classes, Pacifics has about a full credits year of classes you have to take called focus groups, which range from options of how to reshape your thinking to sexuality studies. yeah. I will be getting a major in some kind of science field, so do i want to learn all this scientific stuff from an evolutionary standpoint, or from a Christian standpoint.
So I am leaning towards George Fox now for all those reasons and more. I have a slight drawback because I have gone to a Christian School my whole life, and I want to see my impact on others. At Pacific, it would be incredibly obvious that I was different. At George Fox, being different is normal. I dont know what to do with that info. I want to see my faith challenged, but I also want fellowship with his people(which I didnt see any of at Pacific, though I'm sure some exists), and the best education, which is what college is for... Anyway, Fox has some sweet mission trips Ive heard, so that would be cool, but I dont know if I'd be able to see a day to day impact. So George Fox sounds really great, Pacific is good, but I am leaning a lot towards Fox now. I have a lot to think and pray about, and I'd like to ask you guys to pray that God would make my decision clear.
Linfield was cool but too quiet, too formal, and their basketball was almost so bad that I wouldnt want to play for them. That's it.
A small music section to wrap it up. Victors cover of Garbage Truck is legit. It sounds so good, it makes me want to record. And I think I will once I get an FBV floorpedal and can change sounds quickly. I am liking the sound of my voice more and more as I sing more and more. I even recorded myself a bit today and was pleased with it and my songs, just not the lack of change in the guitar sound. Oh well, it will come. And I get to play for Intersect next week, possibly for about 8 songs, and I can request songs. Yes, I am pleased about all of this.
A Very Informative Week,
Aaron(Shy Ronnie, Ron, Ronicus, Shy, Saucy, Saucy Snak, Snake, Super Mario)

Yeah I'm just a little bit competitive

Should I probably be going to bed? Should I probably be writing an essay? Should I probably be taking a shower after running 3 miles today? Yes, yes, and yes, but I kind of felt like banging out this blog.
So as usual on Thursday I enjoyed my tv shows. I dont understand how people spend thursday evening NOT watching Community, 30 Rock, and the Office. I can understand how people dont watch Outsourced, it's good but not up to the other 3, and after an hour and a half I kind of feel like doing something else part way through the show.
Friday, hung out with some cool people, went to the tip of the universe with a van from Music City, and met some people I'd heard about but never actually seen. Although I felt incredibly quiet the whole night, even for me, but it was pretty good overall.
Saturday, cleaned my car up for senior pics(washed, buffed, it looks hot), went to New Vintage for a while, and then left to hang out with my boys, and Harmony, and Sarah, and I believe it was Carmine(not sure exactly if thats right). That was pretty sweet just hanging out, playing games, even though we pretty much sucked at all the games we played. Except pool, of course, since I am pro. I will come back to several points for Saturday, just let me finish my weekend synopsis.
Sunday was church, senior pics, and Intersect. Senior pics went well I think, I will get the pics back in a while, and will post them then, but for now you can be excited that my one outfit, my car, and my guitar all looked very attractive.
Music: Nothing except that UnderOaths album comes out tomorrow and I'm stoked as soon as I can go by the bank to get the money to buy it.
Basketball. Still helping out with middle school, I have the desire to shoot 200 shots a day but I just dont have the time right now. Steph Curry is a beast dropping 34.
Now, Saturday. I remembered while playing foosball and pool at Harmony's just how ridiculously competitive I am. For some reason I had forgotten this a bit. I found myself rather displeased(not angry because I'm not dumb, its just a game) that I lost at these games. During the games I was quite intense, even though I was doing trbl.
And that's it. I hate losing. If I do something, I want to do it 100%, and I want to be the best at it. It bothers me if I lose. Obviously this doesnt apply to every aspect of life, but it comes up in quite a few, especially anything that remotely involves winning somehow. Call it a drive for perfection or something, but it has its ups and downs. 1. It's not so good when playing board games(which I also suck at) 2. It doesnt really work at school(I'm not too driven to"win" in that category, I'm well aware I cannot beat Trav on the SAT). But, 3. It is great for work ethic, striving for a goal. Whether it is academic(personally, like getting a good gpa), athletic(working hard on improvement), or professional(getting the job done the best way possible).
Now, New Vintage. For the time I was there Matt ended up talking to me, Polvi, and this guy Conner about being men of faith. He mentioned how we often dont have true men of faith in our lives to model. The main example was not seeing Godly manliness(dont question my wording) in our earthly fathers. I wont go into anything else said, it was all good stuff, praying that we can become the men God wants us to be and such, and I dont know Michael or Connor's backgrounds, but I want to focus on that one point in my life.
I am so thankful for my dad. The example that he has set for me is ridiculous. I really cant think of what to say to express this point. He lives his faith day by day, and sets a standard in his spiritual life, at his workplace, and in our home that I can only pray to God that I will be able to live up to in my future. I have truly been blessed to grow up with my fathers godly wisdom and guidance ready whenever I ask. So thanks Dad, keep doing what your doing.
That's all folks.

Point Guards, Pastors, and Plans

I'm sick of Rajon Rondo. He is not the best pg. Either Chris Paul or Deron Williams is the best point guard. You better get a lot of assists when you have three allstars on your team and the defenders back six feet off of you because your shot is more garbage than a few of my middle schoolers. Okay maybe the middles schoolers was a little bit of an exaggeration, but I stand by the rest of it. Chris Paul is a better shooter, better overall scorer, better passer, and in the past cp3 has been a better defender(I need more proof from this season to argue Paul being better than Rondo).  Deron is the best shooter of the three, is the most explosive, also ridiculous at passing, is one of the best anklebreakers in the game, but the worst defender of the three. So I give chris paul number 1, deron 2, and rondo less than that. (Steve Nash is three, there are a few guys like derrick rose, russel westbrook, john wall, tony parker, and stephen curry who will have to prove their spots).
Anyway, thats enough of basketball, except that middle school basketball is hard to coach. It's not how to fix what they do wrong that's the problem, it's getting them to do it right after you have told them 5 times.
I liked the Communion panel today, where Pastor Dave Bechtel, Pastor Dave Parker, and Senor Koopman talked about their beliefs about Communion. It was good to see different denominations coming together and talking about what they thought, without getting defensive or bashing another denomination. Which, I think is ridiculous since we all belong to the body of Christ. It was good to see that great Christian unity, but I'm glad that I go to Bethel, because I like Bechtels personal anecdotes to prove his point more than the ancient Christian traditions with giant words. Again, everybody has their own preferences, and thats part of why we have denominations in the first place.
I'm thankful that I only have to go to CBC tomorrow, I think I will work out and maybe do some college stuff. I am pretty excited for my college visits coming up next week. First, I spend wednesday night at Pacific University, go to a class and chill with some current students. Then I go to George fox for a night for some big Bruin Preview, and then I will visit Linfield in the morning on saturday. It should be a pretty sweet trip, and it will definitely be informative.
Anyway, I believe I have a handful of songs that if I worked on them I could be fairly pleased with, I read over the lyrics i've written over a bit and decided that I still liked them, but they need work instrumentally for me to be happy. I dont know when I will find the time for it, but I think it will happen eventually.
Lastly, it was my brothers birthday today, as well as marques harriers(even though i didnt know this til after I had seen him for two hours), so I had some tony romas and some carrot cake. Delicious.
Thats all for tonight,
Shy
P.S. The new Shy Ronnie skit, Ronnie and Clyde, I thought it was pretty funny, but I cant really recommend it because it was quite innapropriate. Therefore, the first one is still better in my opinion.

Music and Worship

I am not a big fan of going to birthday parties of people I dont know. I am especially not a big fan of being one of the first people to a bday party of someone I dont know. However, I am a much bigger fan of this stuff than Travis. Zach Stott, I believe that is your name, I'm so sorry. We had no idea this was a bday party, would have either not gone or been much later had we known. But holy crap it was so funny! I can find the hilarity in an awkward situation like that, unlike travis, who was thoroughly angry. Well it ended up being alright, even if we just chilled for most of the time. I think we werent the only people zach didnt know, so I feel better about that. Definitely not the most uncomfortable party I have been to *cough Ethiopian Wedding reception cough*.
Yay, its halloween. I dont care. apparently. I really did nothing special. I had church, went to the club, went to a senior intersect meeting, and hung out with bryan. I know it comes as a shock to you all that i didnt dress up. I usually get so excited about everything, but i get super excited about costumes. I'm almost euphoric usually. So tonight was basically a normal Sunday night. Once again dont bother telling me how cool I am.
So... the challenge for seniors this week was to worship God every day, but without music. I really dont know if I will do this. I mean, I can pray thanksgiving, but I dont really feel like that counts. In my opinion, worship without music is like cake without frosting. I realize that might sound blasphemous, but let me explain. You still get the main part, the cake, worship God and connecting him, but the frosting makes it so much better. It's more enjoyable for me with music. Which might be the point of the discipline, but why shouldnt I be as happy as possible when worshipping the Lord? I just dont get it, and there is usually some kind of song running through my head at all times, so it would be really hard not to have music.
Here's the deal with music: I can feel connected to the Lord through instrumentals, I can feel connected through singing. I dont know if this is different than most people, I know most people worship differently. Romans 12:1 'Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship.' My thought is that you can offer your body as a living sacrifice by doing your best at whatever as if unto Christ. Whether it is shooting hoops, doing guitar riff, or screaming at the top of your lungs. I think music is inherently good, no matter what style, until we twist it to be say a stoner song, all about sex, or full of cursing. If you disagree, I'd love to hear other opinions.
I did end up writing a song after the last blog post, it is not terrible, I just dont know how good it is. I have such a hard time judging how good anything I do musically is. If I write a song, I think the lyrics or the guitar line sucks. Its just how it goes, and I feel like Mr. McFly with his novels, I dont really feel like putting my work out there. I just like writing stuff, and its another way to worship.
Last note for this blog, I will not be participating in no shave november. 1. I have senior pics so I need to shave. 2. Who wants to not shave for a month? I mean, that is so dumb!!! That is really, really dumb!!! For real!

I never know what to call blogs, probably because they all talk about similiar stuff

NBA has started!!!!!! To clear things up, so that I am never considered a bandwagon, these are my favorite teams, and I will explain why.
1. Portland Trailblazers. I was a fan a year or two before Roy was drafted, but I really didnt care about the NBA til about 2006. So the Blazers are my local boys. Nuff said
2. Oklahoma City Thunder. Sonics and Blazers have been my teams forever, but when the sonics went to okc I didnt like them for about a month. Then I realized they were one of the most fun teams to watch in the NBA. I am not riding the kevin durant bandwagon, I was a fan of kd's team before and kd just made the switch to okc quicker for me.
3.Golden State Warriors. I know, they are not good at all. This is also the first year of declared fanhood for them. Stephen Curry and Monta Ellis are two of my favorite players, I'm down with David Lee, and even if they always lose, the Warriors are still really fun to watch. They have no d, but their offense is incredible.
The Rockets are growing on me since they have Kevin Martin, Aaron Brooks, and Chase Budinger, but I cant be a Rockets fan. Please look up Chase Budinger's highlites, basketball AND volleyball. Now. Do it. He is an animal. Also, I hate the Lakers and the Celtics. You might say 'Hate is a strong word! Meh!' Yeah, it is. I like Ray Allen, Nate Robinson, and Pau Gasol. Other than that, there are a few people im okay with, the rest, I cannot stand.
Also, I'm helping out with middle school basketball now. It started yesterday, and there is already some nice improvement. I love teaching form shooting, which we got to do today. Reece is a really good coach, I've always thought that, and I lose it whenever he makes nonchalant comments at conditioning or skills. I cant type the situations out well, but trust me it is good stuff. Also, I get to chill with Marques Harrier too since he is the b team coach. It's a pretty fun group.
I feel really inspired musically for some reason, but I feel like it's too late to do anything about it. I want to work out for a while before the bball meeting, and I'm not sure if I can pull good lyrs out of my mind right now, but I might try it. These are the worries that go through my mind on a daily basis. Basketball, workout, music, school, family, and friends. How do I balance it out. I really dont like putting bball or workout over doing stuff with people, because I feel like in the end relationships with people will matter more than working out, and you can really do meaningful stuff around others, I have yet to see how working out or one bball practice will be truly meaningful.
Anyway, bball meeting tomorrow, so I'm going to see what I can do to help out. Also I want my hyperdunks even if I wont wear them for a while. My dad gets the second pair I ordered so that worked out fine.
So, maybe I'll be a bit spiritual now. STOP WORRYING!!!!!! I cannot tell you how much I hear stuff about how upset people are about a range of different things. Not being accepted by people, struggling at sports, just overall sadness. It bothers me. I've said it before, be yourself. People wont always like you(unless you look as good as me, which in the senior photoshoot stuff i bought yesterday, its pretty nice hahaha.)
'May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation.' Galatians 6:14-15. STOP BEING DEFINED BY THESE EARTHLY THINGS. IT DOESNT MATTER. Yes, I am very sad that I dont get to play bball this year, yes it will be very hard for me to watch Liberty bball this year knowing that I could help, but I have decided not to be defined by basketball. I am not going to boast in it, I'm a new creation and God has got something planned. Look for his purpose in your life, and how you can follow Him. As long as you do that, it doesnt matter what others think about you, and it doesnt matter how you are doing in your respective sport. In the end those things will fade away, and if you waste your time worrying about them, it wont lead to anything except emptiness.

My Life is so, not finished

Nice long blog to make up for a bit shorter one last time. It's still worth reading I think.
So, I still don't understand why I tore my ACL again, it bothers me a lot. I have been thinking about it a lot. I don't know if I will ever find out. But I decided when I get back to playing bball in a year, I'm going to go hard because I love the sport. I can't get rid of it. Yeah, Ill let it heal, definitely make sure I've got myself and my knee in ridiculous shape to cut down on injury rates. If I give all I have, like I'm playing for the Lord, and I get injured, okay. It's happened before haha. I'm okay with getting injured playing the sport I love for the One I love. Thats it.
But that is a ways off, and I'm sure God will use me in great ways because of this injury.
So back to life right now. This wednesday I am planning on helping out Reece Loeffler with middle school basketball. I'm so excited. I loved having Reece as a coach freshman year, he was strangely fun to work hard for. And trust me, it was hard work. I'm not sure how this will work out with middle schoolers, not because I dont think middle schoolers have good work ethic(this group might for all I know), but I know that I was not a big fan of hard work in middle school. I didnt like mitson's running, I dont know if I could have handled Reece. Yeah, I'm excited to help out with bball, hopefully I can be a good senior leader, and help lay a foundation for when they get to play in high school.
I did have a pretty solid weekend. Friday included Liberty football, probably the dumbest car accident I have ever heard of(I feel for your car, Big T), and a "Pizza, pizza part-y! Pizza, pizza! Chomp, chomp!" Saturday consisted of a workout, several lawn mowings, and NVYC. Good message about Daniel and changing the culture around us for Christ, even if I am short on places where I feel I can have a huge, culture changing impact. I really like that youth group though. I really feel like the people that come each week are truly trying to follow God the best they can, and it's refreshing to see. I get sick of seeing Christians that just go about life, not doing anything to develop their faith. It's something I've felt I need to change in my life, and I'm really trying.
I'll start what happened today with basketball, get more spiritual later in my description. I went to fall ball, we played Hermiston today, and from what I hear they werent the friendliest of people on the court. However, they did dunk it 3 times, which was ridiculous. I wont pretend I didnt get excited after ever dunk, its fun to watch.
I felt sick for the whole game, and for a while after. It kills me to sit on the bench when I know I could be helping if I was healthy. I know we probably still wouldnt have won, but I just want to contribute.
Tonight I skipped Intersect since it was some game night, and decided to hang out with Danielle, Bryan, and Amber. So that was pretty good, even if all we did was talk, I actually enjoy just talking about stuff sometimes.
This morning we had a guest speaker at Bethel named Dr. Allan Meyer. I've seen the guy speak before, so I knew it was going to be good, and he did not disappoint. He is Australian, so he has a sweet accent. He is funny, so I can laugh while the sermon is going on. And he has some great stuff from God. Today he talked about how to deal with paradoxical people, who are good and bad. The point is everyone does stuff that is for our good, and stuff that hurts us. His way of dealing with these people that are difficult: honor your father and mother. But this honor isnt thinking that they are perfect, its looking at the positive and the negative. Look at the positive, and show gratitude for it. Look at the negative, as bad as it was, and show forgiveness. If we can do this for our parents, we can apply it for all paradoxical people. Pretty good stuff.

Lets talk about my ACL

Alright, here it goes. I feel like Lil' Brudder talking about tearing my acl again. "dont worry about me, homestar, I can make it on my own!" But, really, this sucks. I worked really hard to get better and then boom, no more bball for me.
I dont know what Scovazzo saw or was saying about it being alright. On monday I was told I had partially torn my acl, but maybe had torn it bad enough to need surgery. My options were to wait til the season and then check if it had healed, or scope it and then heal from that or if they saw something they would fix it. This sounded sketchy to me, so I decided to get a 2nd opinion. This guy named Dr Kody was recommended, so we went to spokane to see him. Probably the nicest, most understanding doctor I've ever met(besides dr krause, of course, my employer),  Dr Kody was easily able to tell my acl was fully torn. Sad as I was, I was glad to get a definite answer. At least it's over, I can move on.
On the positive side, something else is going to come up. God apparently has a different plan, and I am "filled with a glorious and inexpressible and glorious joy, for you am receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:8b-9. I'm excited to see what is up next, but sad to see my senior year of bball go. I want to help out on the team, preferably not as the manager though. I've never been big on getting people water and carrying the ball bag. That doesnt change just because I have a torn acl. But, if that is the only way I can travel with the team, I will do it.
So, surgery probably on December 1, 1 year this time before I can play bball again, but I only have to be on crutches for a week, so that is good. All in all, I should be able to stay in better shape than last time, but wont be able to be 100% in my legs for a while longer.
Now, I have heard a few people make comments like, 'Why dont you just play through pain, since it is your senior year? Just wear another brace.' For all you who dont know, this would be a perfect way to 1. Tear my meniscus to shreds, giving me knee pain for the rest of my life, and 2. Probably from the meniscus, I would end up with some nice arthritis when I'm older. Well, I would like to play bball someday again, even if just for fun, and I would like to have kids, and hopefully be able to play with them. I know that might sound weird to think that far ahead, but it needs thought since I could really mess up my life playing. So no, I will not be playing through the pain.
I appreciate peoples prayers and am incredibly thankful that I have such good friends to support me in my struggles. Pray that God makes himself clear to me on what he wants me to do, and for as quick of a recovery as possible.
I know that this blog is just a bit shorter, but I felt like I should just focus on my injury for this blog. I still believe in miracles, just not this one.
P.S. Me, Robbie Hummel, and Michael Redd are on the 2nd tier of the Brotherhood of People Who have Torn Their ACLs. I generally just refer to it as the Brotherhood though

Break the spell of the typical

Currently, I'm supposed to be mowing the lawn, but it is soaked, so I will just write. I dont like that the lawn gets wet all the time now. It makes it hard to shoot in my backyard, because on the rare occasion that I miss, the ball rolls into the wet grass, then picks up the dust on the court, which not only gets my hands all gross and hard to shoot with, but also when I go to shoot a layup, little muddy bits spray into my eyes, which results in me getting angry and irritated by the pain in my eyes. So I dont like the grass getting wet with the dew.
Music. I sung on Wednesday, and no one could hear me. Thats about all there is to it. Mutemath is growing on me, they are pretty sick and original. I also want some more rap core music, because I like the feeling but I hate just straight rap with no musical talent. I just dont know many good rap core bands. If you say Family Force Five, I will kill you.
On Thursday I watched my four regular comedies, and I am thankful that 30 rock isnt live every week, because it just wasnt the same. The whole episode was just like a giant, lame snl skit. So it was funny at bits but not really worth watching week by week. But let me be clear, not all of snl is like that so I can watch week by week. However, if Fred Armisen and Kristen Wig were the stars of EVERY sketch, I wouldnt watch.
Friday, if you havent read Victors blog, I went to the Richland football game with Vic and Hannah. Denny's afterwards for like 15 minutes and then to Peter Meyers house. X-men 2? Maybe not the best movie ever made, but entertaining enough with Victor, Peter, and this guy named Travis.
In the morning, I did a job shadow with Dr Miles McCartney. After 3 hours of watching Optometry appointments, I decided two things. 1. This job is pretty sick, there is always something unique with everyones eyes. It was cool to see people getting helped, and how much they appreciated Miles work and care. I liked it. 2. If and when I get my own patient rooms, I am going to put prank posters up, that are purposefully blurred. So people will be like, "Dang, that poster of the eye is so blurry, I must really need glasses..."
Saturday, woke up, worked out, went to pf changs for dinner, went to New Vintage Youth Church, and then hung out with Bryan and Victor. Thats it. I dont understand why people think working out isnt fun. I love it. I could work out for two or three hours a day easily. oh.. wait. New Vintage was good again, although smaller than last time. I'm looking forward to Matt Molts series on creating culture in Daniel, I think it will be good.
Today? Church this morning, going to watch Liberty play Richland from the bench(although I can run, lift weights, and do stairstepper again, I dont trust my quick stops just yet.) Got to clean the office today, eventually mow the lawn, go to the senior journey for Intersect at 4, then go to Intersect again at 630. That seems to be my life right now, always doing something but having a good time doing it.

Get Ready, I might be the next Chris Martin...but probably not

Oh boy, quite the eventful half of a week.
Saturday. I dont like the SAT, it's boring. nuff said.
Homecoming was pretty tight. took the ultimate chick magnet car to Homecoming. Thats right. 1999 Honda Odyssey. Ethan, Amber, Victor, Sarah, Danielle, and I took it around town, which was pretty sick. Overall the night was pretty awesome but other than going to myfroyo, two crippled people doing a surprisingly good job at dancing, and a late night Albertsons run, it was pretty close to normal event wise. So I wont go into detail.
Sunday. Five hours of sleep, I woke up at 7 to be at church for rehearsal at 8. I played guitar for the 11 oclock middle school service, and our trio of me, Jimmy rutkowsky, and Lauren Swanson did pretty good for never playing together before with 30 minutes of practice. The middle schoolers liked my guitar and I'm looking forward to going off a bit more on my guitar during songs.
Good message at Intersect that night, I still dont feel totally connected to the group, but I'm committed, it's gonna happen. Anyway I'm on a challenge for seniors to read the same 5 verses for 5 days to see what I get about it and dig deeper into the Word. I'm not really used to it, but whatever I can take a week of it. And already excited to go to NVYC on Saturday for the first time in like a month.
Monday. I didnt really do anything, except there was a serious creeper at the club. Get this, middle aged white guy, glasses, long sleeve Utah Jazz shirt, and shorts. He laid on the ground for probably 15 minutes, occasionally readjusting his position. I'm guessing he was stretching somehow, but I'm not totally sure. What makes him a creeper was this: as he was laying down he stuck his knees up, making his shorts slide down his thin thighs, showing off a bit more than I would like to see. And his Utah Jazz shirt slid up, revealing his large white belly. Dont bother fixing your shirt dude, Im just doing my flys over here. Ridiculous.
Today. No English class tonight! Im so excited to not waste 2 hours of my life.
I did however, go to one and a half doctors appointments. I say one and a half because the second one I sat in the office waiting for an mri for 45 minutes only to find out it was broken. The first one was an ultrasound to check for a blood clot in my calf since it has swollen up a little bit over the past few days. It came back negative as expected, but I felt some of my manhood stripped away. I wont go into further detail, but it was not okay. I am never doing that again.
I then go straight to worship team practice. Oh it seems like a pretty normal day, I start setting up, wondering when I will get my music because I always forget to bring it. Nathan walks in. "Hey ron I dont know if anyone told you yet, but you are singing this week since Colton won't be here tomorrow."
For those of you who dont know, I make joking comments about singing to Nathan all the time, so I automatically assumed he was kidding.
"You think I'm joking but I'm totally serious."
Oh boy. So yes, I am singing tomorrow, it will be quite eventful, and Im more than a little bit nervous. I dont know why, I sing in front of people all the time. Some people have said I have the voice of an angel. But really, I'm hoping I dont totally blow it.
I have been compared to Mario, so let's hope this plumber has pipes. Ill update you on how it goes.
Stay classy, planet earth.

I Believe in Miracles

So yesterday after English class I went to Richlands open gym for some good 5 on 5. I was playing pretty well, hitting shots, dishing, encouraging players, you know, being an all around cool guy.
After a few games, still playing well, I drove the lane, like I had done plenty in the night. A guy came over to take away the left side of the rim. Whatever, I'll just cross over to the other side of the hoop and make the layup anyway. I dont exactly remember how I set my feet I just know I felt a pop as my leg gave out.
It was the same feeling I had when I tore my acl, same leg, the only difference in feeling was that my knee buckled out instead of in. I hit the ground. "Crap. I think I just retore my acl."
I called my parents, had them come pick me up, since driving clutch is really fun when you cant even walk. I was pretty convinced that was it. About time to start looking for a new hobby. I was encouraged before I went to bed by the fact that I could put a good amount of weight on my leg still, but figured that was because I had treated my leg better after injury. (Keeping it straight after injury, not bent like last time when I lost some flexion.)
I expected the worst. My ACL was torn, I felt the same thing as last time. I couldnt help but question God. "Come on, why God. Isnt this a bit much? I mean, why do I get all this bad luck. I worked so hard and now my career is probably done. Please God, I know you can heal me. I know it."
I always seem to learn more from God's Word when I'm hurt. I decided to finish Galatians. There is a part where Paul talks about only boasting in Christ. Several verses before that he talks about comparing ourselves to others, testing our own actions. I realized that I was boasting about how hard I worked, and comparing how good I was and how hard I worked to how others did. Then it hit me. I've read stuff from kevin durant and point guard college saying to drop comparisons. Just respect everyone's game. Worry about yourself. And now the Bible is telling me the same thing. So thats what I've got to work on. Dont compare myself, dont boast abouthow hard I work. My confidence should come form hard work, not my boasting.
I then decided to read 1 Peter 1, since that meant a lot to me last time I tore my acl. As usual, I love verse 6-7 about our faith being proven through trials, but somehow I missed the part after it. It says to be 'filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy for you are recieving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.' How did I miss that?! Be joyful in my trials because I know my faith is being proven.
After these lessons I had seen I talked to God some more. "Wow God, that's really cool that you showed me this stuff, but can I please not have to be out for six months just to learn these things?"
Getting up in the morning, I was going to the doctor in a little bit. "Okay God, please heal me. I know you can do miracles, and if you heal me it will be a miracle, since I felt my ACL go just like last time."
So I went to the doctor, took an xray, and waited for the doctor to come in. She felt my knee, moved it around checking for ligament issues. The she said the best sentence I could have imagined, "Well, your ACL looks great."
Yeah, God's pretty much the coolest guy ever.
So I need to rest it over the weekend, it will probably be better in a few weeks. They arent totally sure what it is, probably a strain, possibly a slight meniscus issue, but nothing that serious.
I'm thankful for the prayers, and I definitely believe God can do miracles

I'm back in the Beemer again! I'm back!

If you couldnt tell, I like using song references, but really, I got my car back!!! Not my cat like my facebook says. The coolant was low. That's it. Even though i put more coolant in there like a month ago... I dont think there is a leak my mechanic Jeremy says that e36s lose coolant pretty often. So now I have to check the coolant level every day to make sure it's okay and just add more if it gets low. Whatever that's pretty easy and it beats driving the van. I dont care what Honda and Barracuda have to say, the van is NOT cool again, because I am no longer driving one.
I'm pretty sure Bryan and I frightened some of our fellow Calculus students today. The prof was talking about finding the slopes of tangent lines(fun stuff, really).
Me: Hey Bryan, its the derivative
Prof: There is another name for the slope formula...
Bryan: Ron, it's the derivative
Prof: Its called the derivative.
Me: Oh snap!
Bryan said some other generic phrase I dont recall at the moment, I was a bit distracted by the people turning to look at us or smile at how weird it was that we were excited in math class.
Yeah, I feel like a math nerd right now. I'm just so smart, it's almost like I've taken this class before...
So Homecoming is Saturday and Danielle has a torn ligament in  her foot. I'm pretty experienced on crutches, and just might bring mine along haha. I will say that if Danielle wanted to dance with crutches, it would probably be better than my white man moves.
Mrs Lindquist told me yesterday that she wants me to do more to stand out in the worship sets. Use different sounds so that I dont just blend in with the rest of the band. I never thought these words would come out of her, but now that this day has come I'm not sure what to do. This is a very a hard decision, deciding what to do, I am in a pickle!
Basketball, I think I will make my shots goal, so I'm excited about that. I have trouble waking up for morning sessions, but things like only 4 people showing up for liberty practice have helped me keep to my daily quota. It's been good and I am excited to see it pay off in the season.
I will be honest, I dont want to read Galatians again for Mr Taylor. I dont appreciate the amount of reading we are supposed to do and how big an effect it has on our grade. I personally believe Bible should be easy to pass, not harder than physics by a long shot like it is currently. But I have strong opinions on this subject so I wont go any deeper into it. I will just pray that God helps me get past my dislike of Taylor's assignments and still learn something, since it is God's Word. I always feel bad about complaining to read the Bible.
"Learn about God and get closer to Jesus!"
"No!!" See?! See how terrible that sounds?

I miss my BMDub

Where to begin?
A little bit of music news. Brian Head Welch, Red, and Disciple are coming to the toyota center! I want to go, thats all there is. I bought Edison Glass' album A Burn or a Shiver today, and it is so tight. The riffs in basically every song are sick. Project 86's first cd is growing on me, since it is half ratm and half korn, so it's awesome but not much like the other proj stuff.
Also, I might be playing for Intersect next week, so someone should come watch. Another reason someone should come is because then I would have someone more familiar to talk to, I dont have any bros or girls I really know there, yet.
So on to basketball. We played Richland today, and lost 4 on 5. I played without my knee brace for the first time in a long time, and it felt good, so that was nice. I'm not too pleased with the guy at Hanger that put my brace together wrong. But whatever.
So yesterday I went to Ambers for her party, and holy crap there were so many people, but it was pretty sweet. I hung out mostly with a half liberty circle, that included Jordan Grier and this girl named Hannah. Seriously, Victor killed the entire night, and we had some pretty sweet conversations, mostly about Travis, who knows what he needs to do, but probably will be to lame to get around to it.
Anyway, everyone is turning 18, and that still seems really weird to me. It's like somewhat of an adult, like you can live on your own, vote, be in the army, smoke, go to casinos. But you are still sort of a kid. It's weird, and honestly, I dont really care about any of those privileges of being an 18 year old. I know you are stunned that I dont want to smoke or be in the army.
I just want to drive my car. I miss it. I manage in the van, because I'm cool like that. I make the van sexy again(?). But I miss the stick shift, low to the ground, roaring around like a b.a. It goes into the shop on wednesday, and it probably has a problem with the water pump, so I guess i will be broke again. Baby come back!
So homecoming is next week. I'm pretty stoked, and will have to go get sized in the next day or two, which is incredible uneventful, but I dont have a color yet(besides burgundy haha) since Danielle doesnt have a dress yet. Oh well it will all work out, except I'm not looking forward to the SAT that day.
Last thought of the day. Ladies, you are so pretty, but I really dont have the time for a girlfriend. I have more important things to do at the moment than have a most likely fleeting, and hard on my wallet relationship. So for the time being, I'm content to just chill. I know this is heartbreaking, i mean have you seen my eyes? I'm a bear, and I'm a daddy, I'm a daddy bear(for all of you who watch 30 rock). As crushing as this is, I'm asking you to deal with it.
That's what's  up