Faith to Move Mountains

Dang it Katie Ellis. I saw you posted a blog, and was going to go to bed, and then I was like "I've got to get my blog on." Yes in those words. So what if I think in jive(Airplane reference)? You got a problem with that?!
It has been a few too many days since I have posted. I put my 17"s on my BMW, and they look hot. I don't need to file for taxes for some reason. The GFU Bball coach is very hard to email, and has made me quite frustrated in the past week or so, but everything seems to be working out. By working out I mean I can attempt to walk on, so basically what I have been planning on the whole time. Spring break was successful in that it was pretty fun, and I didnt get anything productive done haha. Well, that is my catch up.
So, this faith subject. Interesting. I did not expect the "second level" of faith that Lewis talked about to be trusting in God fully with your life. Realizing the bankruptcy of your life, how no matter how much we try to follow virtues and stuff, we can never give God anything that He doesn't have. I mean, from God come all good things, so we really can't "give" him anything. Inevitably, we will fail to follow him perfectly, and we need to try hard to attain perfection, but we need to reach the point where we just give it to Him because we can't do it on our own.
That whole paragraph just sounds so silly to me, like of course that is true, we all know the church speak, but really, do we do it? I will be completely honest and open, it's hard for me to do this, because I have this constant sense of confidence or pride where I feel like "Yeah, me, I can REALLY be used by God. I am a stud." Now obviously it isn't totally like that, that would be called a dramatization, but I don't think I am alone in feeling like that sometimes. It is so awful, and selfish, and when I stop and look, I am a terrible person. And I am not saying that like I'm depressed or anything, it's just the truth. The idea that he would ever choose to use a terrible person like me is mind blowing. Ridiculous. Yet I know he has a work set out for me to accomplish, I just have to keep looking.
I will now switch gears to the first type of faith, which I was expecting. You have basic knowledge and trust to develop faith where you know something is true because you have evidence to back it up. But where it becomes a virtue, according to Lewis, is when you tell your emotions and moods, "where they get off." So with faith in this sense, take religion, I have decided from evidence(both physical and spiritual) that Christianity is true. But there are plenty of times when my emotions change, and maybe I don't want to obey Christianity for a bit, pretend it's not true. I mean, heck, partying would be a lot of fun, but that's where I tell my emotions to get off and follow what I know is true, not what I feel like doing. I hope that makes sense. Basically what I am saying is know what you believe, why you believe it, and when your mood changes and it isnt so easy stick to it.
Now I am not saying if evidence is raised to prove you wrong, stick blindly to what you believe. That is not faith, that is just stupidity. By all means, show your side and why you are right, ask other people that are smart, then maybe you need to change what you believe. I am convinced that you cannot prove to me that Christianity is wrong, but you might be able to convince me that Kobe is better than Jerry West was. Think about it.